I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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