she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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