I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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