if only i could text you this smell
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
