Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's like heaven, but drunker
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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