Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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