He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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