I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she smelled like a LAN party
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
