I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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