so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Edward fifth and chaser hands
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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