I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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