BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
