Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
