just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
