just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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