so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
