...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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