If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
