You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Drake has all the answers
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
