Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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