I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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