new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
