Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
