Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
