the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Success! We fucked roommates!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
