you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
