the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
