I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
