Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
