Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
