part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
