I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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