Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
