oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
