One girl and one boy is just not enough.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
