Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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