My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
