So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
