Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
