College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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