Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think my moral compass just broke
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
