I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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