just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
where are my eyebrows?
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