hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i need some magic done to my vagina
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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