Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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