It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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