Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
