Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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