erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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