i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Best friends brother. Beat that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
