.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
